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Bio - with a focus on My Life Experiences ...

In the many years  of giving Sensuous yet Focused Relaxation Massage - my motivations and enthusiam for what I offer - comes from my strong passion for the Sensuous Relaxation Meditative aspects of Massage with Men in Mind  - and this in a manner of speaking softly blends with my drawing energy for Massage from the many personal experiences over my lifetime ...  many of which have been experienced by my clients in their own lives - so below I take a bit of time to portray these openly and honest - with a strong focus on the years since I began this holistic touch journey ... as I believe these years have the strongest influence on why I carry on with Massage with the same passion I have always had for what I do.

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Before I started offering Massage  - I was married for approx 16 years  - from which I have 2 beautiful daughters who are now adults out there in the world on their own right ...  the youngest spending all of her 13 school years and a gap year after - on a 50 / 50 basis between both of her homes  - at which time I kind of became an empty nester - which I feel I am still adjusting to as this is the 1st time I have lived on my own in many years - I think in many ways - I will always be adjustng. ​

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All through the years of marriage - I was in Hospitality Managment - working my way up to runnning a boutique hotel in New Plymouth for a couple of years - to jointly owning a prominent Cafe - also in New Plymouth - (I am from NPL - but have lived in Auckland for over 30 + years and only moved back to NPL Just before the Millennium year and only stayed for a couple of years - then opportunity arose for my then wife to take a NZ Manager Role for Beauty Therapy - her dream - so off we went - Soon after moving back to Auckland  - I took on what I consider the largest position I have held in my Hospo Career - Operations Manager NZ of a 31 strong Franchise Cafe Chain - reporting to Head Office based in Southport Gold Coast Austraila  - with cafes in NZ from Christchurch, Wellington, New Plymouth, Hamilton, Tauranga and Auckland - it was while I was there when only a few years in - that my marriage ended - (a result of both our high flying jobs requiring so much travel that it quickly created a distance between us - rather than my bisexuality as a lot of people seem to think) -  at that time my youngest daughter was only 3 yrs old - so her mum and I agreed to sharing a well balanced equal custody arrangement working strongly together to ensure our daughter was well cared for and had the best of both worlds - despite our extensive employment roles. 

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Coming Out as Gay (not my favourite term) at approx 45 yrs old - (a couple of years after my marriage ended and while I was working in the NZ Operations Role) - and after some initial hiccups on how I felt I decided to do some counselling sessions and workshops with Outline in Auckland - which quickly lead to me to volunteering on their Telephone Help Lines for a while - plus I tried to start a GayDads group which didn't take off at all. 

 

After Coming out - it took me a further year to make it known to all of my family and friends - as by then I was finally feeling comfortable in my own skin - and had developed a mindset of - "either they are on this journey beside me or not - if they don't agree then that is their issue not mine to worry about"  - and I never looked back.  Worthy of noting here - I was expecting resistance from my father  - he was the staunch NZ Bloke type - rugby mad farmer  - yet he  was the one who accepted me with open arms and our bond grew stronger over the years - and I am so glad I had the honour of being by his side for his last days (something I will never forget).   Interestingly enough - my relationship with my mother was very close all of my life  - so I was not expecting resistance from her at all - yet  - she was the one that did not accept what I was saying with open arms and we have since became more or less estranged over the last 15 years  - it is what it is.  

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Then a few years on - my Australian based boss came to me and said - "Glenn we need you to restructure NZ  - we have bought another Company in NZ and need to merge all roles"  - So after a decade of travelling both throughout NZ and into Australia from Sydney & Parramatta to The Gold Coast (Brisbane and Southport ) and Melbourne on a constant constant basis - eg: @ 1 x point there was period - when I had a 2 week holiday in Malaysia - came home - was parent for 4 days - then flew to Southport for a 2 day work conference - came home - flew to Wellington for work for 2 nights - came home then the following weekend I flew back to Sydney for Mardi Gra - flew home for a few days and then off to Christchurch for work for what seemed a long while ! - I earned enough airpoints to get me to the Gold Coast for a holiday  - so based on that level of constant work travel alone  - it wasn't a difficult to say to myself - it was time for me to spend some time grounding myself and plant my feet firmly on the ground for a while - so as to reset "me" and be the parent I needed to be at that time - so I put myself on top of the Redundancy List - collected a healthy redundancy package - took 3 months 100% off from job related anything - while initially doing some refresher workshops in Natural Health - my other life interest and as I had the Diploma in Massage from way back when  - then started offering Massage on a full time basis in late 2011 - I never looked back - as I was giving my passion in life  - 100% the best decision I have made in a very very long time - the flexibility and the calm it brought to life - especially in being a half-time parent with such ease equalled both the Massage and the halfparent gig - being the most rewarding things I have ever done. 

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A parent and far to many close family members and friends passing over  - simply put - far too early - 4 in the year 2013 alone - that was a tough year. 

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Soon after my father passed away  - boxing day of 2013 - I meet my now ex partner - which - I can now openly describe as - my largest Trauma based Lifetime event - and that was living within what was an emotionallly - manipulating - volitile and sexually abusive same sex relationship - so much so that it was a long while after  - "he"  - finally left the weekend before the lockdown of 2020 - ( I never speak his name now - ever)  - that I realised the full extent of what had occured - sure I knew what was going on during - but his leaving when he did simply meant my mindset wasn't in the right space to think too much about any form of what had happened during those 6 - 7 years - as like every single person in the world I was suddenly in covid chaos - inclusive of my daughter being in amongst the 1st and largest Covid Cluster as a pupil @ Marist College just a few days ahead of the 2020 lockdown - to sorting out the roof over my head and thinking about how I was going to navigate this period of time as we went into the Lockdown and well business simply wasn't going to be a thing for who knew how long -  (thank gawd I was a registered business @ that time - help was given instantly). - That 1st Lockdown of 2020 became a godsend for me - as it gave me time to stop and think  - while bringing a calm back to me that meant I wasn't looking over my back every day - allowing me to put a plan of action in place so once the lockdown ended  - I could take my time in restarting Massage - while beginning to slowly find myself and rebuild life again.  - But instead once normality kind of set back in  - the reality of what actually occured during the relationship hit like a ferocious storm - but instead of me seeking help then - I threw myself into things that would take my mind off  - "him"  - so as to create a mindset to try and bury the events that occured during the relationship - so with a very young life attitude and a very fit and healthy body back then - especially for someone in their 50's - I took on an attitude of - "F#ck you to him"  - and I promptly buried myself into my old fitness freak self - such as daily gym with twice a week PT sessions & almost daily spin bike sessions - plus when I did take a day off - it often resulted in a bike ride that was literally hours and hours escaping from reality - add in  - a short term full on sexual relationship (that is all it was) - which developed into some ummm I'll just say hardcore risky behaviour - this was all happening while hiding the reality of what was going on from family / friends - and then as suddenly in early 2021  - an opportunity was presented that enabled a move that meant it could just be me and my youngest daughter - no flatmates  - no partners  - and finally give me an opportunity to slow life down again and get some much needed just bliss moments for me and move forward by dealing with the life events of the last few years. 

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Then around the middle of 2022 - my body suddenly began to slow down  - more and more with each day - with what seemed to be a daily loss of energy and full body pain and an increasing loss of Muscle Strength got stronger - not to mention a heavy fatigue and a 100% loss of libido  - all this came on fast - and as a result - it was difficult to do regular work outs  / Spin sesh's and do as much massage as I need to to LiveLoveLife - so with the full Guidance and Support of my Holistic based Doctor - there were suddenly many medical tests over the last half of 2022 - from MRI's - Ultra Sound Scans - to regular monthly blood tests  - that all simply kept coming up Negative -  all while constantly getting told in reality - they couldn't figure out what was going on especially considering how fit and healthy I was for my age - and then December of 2022 a simple conversation with one specialist quickly lead to an urgent referral to a Rheumataology Specialist - and within that Appointment a Diagnosis was given of Chronic Fibromyalgia - ( a muscle based Rheumatology condition) - which I was advised is caused by very long periods of emotional Trauma and or Major Accidents / Surgery etc  - plus in some part - Covid itself may have had a bearing on it  - so this made sense - 6 to 7 years of a voiltile relationship - a serious Car Accident I had in my 30's which landed me in hospital for a little while - a couple of minor surgery's and a few other Trauma based life events over the years - had all contributed to the strain on the Body's Auto-Immune / Nervous System - with my body simply reaching a point of no return and suddenly telling me to reduce the noise and live a calm life - something I now fully understand and live by every single day. 

 

Soon after the diagnosis  - I had reached a point where I had to take a long look @ life and create a path to slowing every aspect of it down - while trying to maintain the business levels I needed to livelovelife  - yet still with each week that passed I was going slower & slower - quickly leading to having to make one of the toughest decisions I had had to face in a long time - and that was to close my fulltime Massage business - then called ManificoBody and take some time off  - which I did around Easter of 2023 - I packed life into storage - and took  off to Housesit around the North Island for just over a year - so as to learn to live within the much slower pace of life that was now - The Fibromyalgia  - before it got worse and stopped me from being able to  - LiveLoveLife altogether - a year of bliss I so needed ... 

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It was later recommended by the Rheumatology Specialist  - that I have Pain Management Counselling with their Psychologist - as the condition affects the Body's Muscle Fibers causing full body heavy aches and weakness on a constant basis at massively fluctuating levels - so I needed to re-train my mindset to match the now required much lower energy output levels of my body  - so as to cease the daily energy crashes that werer happening back then and the constanlty increasing pain - and it was while having the Pain Management Counselling  - that the relationship stuff and some childhood trauma came to the fore again in leaps and bounds - leading to the Psychologist recommending that I have Counselling with a sole focus on the Relationship and the now known Sexual Abuse that had occured over the Relationship period - so I attended both a workshop and weekly counselling sessions @ Burnett Foundation over most of 2024 - something I am so grateful for as it has massively cleared my mind of  - not just the relationship trauma - but of all life events. - I now regulary volunteer @ The Burnett Foundation on the Condom / Testing Kit packing evenings - which are a heap of fun with a bunch of like mind Queer people. 

 

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These days - I now recognise all the symptoms of both the Fibromyalgia and the relationship stuff -  and when these occur - I know how to manage these well enough  - by simply doing things like  - meditate or just get out into nature - or having a Massage  - all are about calming my body - so  I can once again go about my day to day  - so I guess in a manner of speaking - this equals me no longer doing anything with excess and this in a nutshell is why I now only offer Massage on a casual day x day basis. 

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Fast forward to now - I can say without reservation - that I do not consider that any of the above solely dictates who I am or how I LiveLoveLife or go about my day to day - these all only form a small part of me - and yes they may have changed my view point a little on life going forward particularly how I live by my new Mantra - SLOWDOWNPAPI but LIVELOVELIFE - but the further along I go in my own life journey - the more I believe  - that the more I allow myself to give focus to my Physical Body and Mindfulness Energy - in a calm manner  - the more I am able to follow my Mantra - and the more I can give focus to things such as sensuous Mindfulness Touch based Relaxation Sessions or similar sensuous connective style body touch like Yoga - Meditation - Sensuous based Massage and even Sensuous Tantric or Sexual Connections - and  - by changing my focus on things like exercise and socialising along with food and alcohol to match my now energy levels  - (which when compared to what was my strong and possibly excessive fitness / diet and sexual regime prior to the medical diagnosis - and is now one of a more mindfulness focus and not how my body looks focus) - the more my mindset adjusts to allow myself to delve into my sensuous self -  like I used to before the relationhship trauma occured  while bringing a calmness to my inner spirit ...

 

 ... and for me - that now 100% by far outweighs the need to earn $$$ aspect of why I offer Relaxation Massage - especially now that I don't need to make a living as such just from just Massage and overall that fits well within my Personal Living Mantra... SlowDownPapi - but LiveLoveLife. 

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Take some time for you  - with the  - EnigmaticBodyMassage and simply ... 

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relax ... relax ... relax .... 

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Namaste 

Glenn. ​​​​

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